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 Almost exactly a year since my last post Seems like a recurring theme.. Akan ada satu event yang membuatkan I itching to pour my soul out through writing. It really helps. You just needed an outlet sometimes. I wanted to draw, but unfortunately since I tengah dekat temporary place (been moving about) and all my stuff dekat storage company, so tak dapatlah nk melukis.  I think, nowadays, human connection is very scarce because we are all becoming more and more individualistic. Things that are happening in palestine proves this.... Anyway, somehow the consultant in the ward was pissed at me today. Maybe I was just the mangsa keadaan. Tbh, I did nothing wrong. In fact, I did everything right but I guess, that's just the nature of this job isnt it. It is a thankless job. So you just do what you can and I think, it is a good thing that aku ni Muslim because I always make sure that I kerja ni, sebagai satu ibadah. I make sure that I come to work with the sole intention of pleasing ...

 Hi,  Ive returned after a couple of years since my last entry. Having read it, I rasa bersyukur that I wrote everything down. I've matured since then, I think. I can clearly see, the teenaged / early adult side of me for which I have grown to become a full fledged adult with responsibilities now and clearly, much more difficult decision to make And, one thing for sure.. I've lost the ability to write...... T_T Obviously, the tittle somewhat is giving a hint of what Im about to write. Funny.....Four years ago punya contemplation, still the same this time around. Hidup ni, dunia ni, memang satu roda.  Turns out, I did decide to stay in Msia at the time, for at least another year post-fifth year or let's say..after graduation.  What happened since then?  Alhamdulillah, I graduated. Finished medschool without any repeat on exams. Soared through all of them with blessings from allah, doa & support from parents & family, and of course, my friends. Study group...

 Salam... Been contemplating about this a lot. And I just....i needed an outlet to vent out my feelings... Also, so that in the future, when I read back on this post, I will know and hopefully smile upon reading back what I felt right at this moment and what madness is going through my little mind.  Sekarang ni, saya pelajar medik tahun 5 dah.. 5 weeks in. And, tengah dalam proses untuk samada apply internship di Ireland (fee €200).... atau patutkah saya buat Housemanship (foc- but may suffer a bit) di Malaysia dahulu.. lepas tu baru fikir untuk ke luar semula demi menuntut ilmu dan reap the benefits over there before coming back here again to benefit my nations. Untuk apply for UKFYP (albeit free) dah terlepas application stage 1.. a bit menyesal, sbb tak aware dengan recruitment date tapi tkpelah, that means, it is not meant for me.. My contemplation stems from: - if terus buat internship overseas, I better stay there until dah dapat specialist / at least 10yrs experience be...

Hey guys, so um, been a long time. But, uh, this is actually one of my surgery rotations assignments however, as i read, i thought, it would be great if I could pen it down in my blog as well... Just leave a comment (or ask mr google) if there are any terms that u cant understand ok!           One of the many things that I learned was that, a really good grasp of basic knowledge is quintessential for me to be competent. I am still lacking in this which I found very depressing especially when active participation during case discussion with our tutor came in. In order to improve, I really need to consistently do revision, assessment and do verbal discussion with my friends. However, I sometimes find it a bit overwhelming.             Along my rotation, I realised the importance of practice. My tutors and seniors kept repeating this advice time and time again and I find myself agreeing to thi...

Hi there. This is a draft. Not yet finished. Just writing it down here so that I will come back later and know that I have an unfinished business when it comes to my blog. Travelled for the winter to Morocco & Spain. ON the hotter side of the world. Not the freezing cold weather ie Austria, Prague, Zakopane, Poland, Iceland. 16Dec-3Jan Learnt a lot No more travel w first time friend. Gonna choose those who I'm already familiar with. Those who knows each other's flaws and work our way around it. Loved the trip nonetheless. Work on self. Quite ill-tempered. Didn't know that it resurfaced again after almost two years wiping out this side of me. Learnt that, I should work on being both kind and right. But, kind must always comes first. Say nice words, or say none at all. Learnt to look from my friend's perspective. Learnt that, other people are also trying their best to make things work, not just you. Friends are actually nice. But, remember, there's nothin...

Dear Diary, While I’m writing this, I am sitting on my bed in Shahrizan Inn, Kuantan, Pahang. 4 th day away from Home. Spent 3 days in KL, cz I had my volunteering activities done for the Summer. That, will be in another entry. So, the reason I am writing is because, I feel like my dad, might know when he’s leaving us. All the things that he now does, is as if, as a final goodbye to everyone who knows or knew him. It felt like Ji Hyun from 49 Days. I don’t know if he’s only acting on impulse, or was actually planning it, but this is like the very first time that, when we went to KL, he was so determined on having a reunion with his UPM colleagues. KL done, now that’s why we are here in Kuantan. Cz apparently, some of his friends live here, and he is so eager to meet them. You know how he is, very authoritative.    Already met them just now. While my mum was devastated and frustrated, cz it felt like, we were not properly celebrated as tetamu by them, it still fe...

Hi there.  Its been awhile since my last blog update. How are y’all been doing? Still breathing? Alhamdulillah.. Going through rough times? Hmm just keep movin. Cry… Get help. Mengadu dekat Allah in your doa after solat. At least, that’s what I do. Alhamdulillah, ended my first year in medical school. Now, I’m already a month and a half, past my summer break. And another 1.5 months to go till it ends. I’m back in Malaysia now. Gonna be back to Dublin in mid August, insyaAllah. Hm, heads up! My writing skills have gotten worsen, day by day. Sorry if it bores you to death.  A lot have been going on lately. Never seem to see the end of it. I had a blast, on my first year in RCSI. Met a lot of people, made new friends, yet, I still am the socially awkward, introverted person, okay. That fact doesn’t change. I’ve been going out of my comfort zones, a few times. And I thank god for that, for giving me the courage to do it! It does improve my communication and hearing, i...

Assalamualaikum.. I'm still in my 'vacation' mood ie not even bothering to touch any books, so I was trying to sort out my files in my hard disk. When I was looking through photos and videos of my last December trip to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam (for CAS purposes), it was exhilarating to reminisce. So, this SehatiSerumpun10.0 group consist of three M15C students and about 11 (+-) E15C students. It was nice la, to blend in/join the engineering kids, for a change. The way they think, behave, enjoy life are way disparate than my peers. Haha. I mean, we do fool around (although seldom), and sometimes serious. But them? Macam tak pernah serious langsung. Hahahahahahaha. (tapi memasing otak geliga tau-that fact doesnt change no matter their attitude) So this is a picture of the three of us; me, qee and baby boo. It was taken the day we are to do our social service at kg Suio Nung. The place was 'insta-worthy' ( I mean, the "wallpaper" nmpk mcm old ruins...

Hi, Assalamualaikum. So, actually I've been reading kak Mira Mudin's blog so it kind of propelled me to update my own blog. Haha Alhamdulillah, my IB result was satisfying. Satisfying enough that it made me lepas all requirements. All throughout the three semesters and during the MOCK exam, I had always been quite doubtful of my future, whether or not I will be accepted to PMC and fly off to Ireland. And Alhamdulillah, all is well. So, I managed to secure a place in RCSI. Those of you who dont know its Royal College of Surgeons Ireland. It's a private uni as compared to the Universities at Dublin, Cork, and Galway. Although Trinity Dublin idk its awam or private. Nevertheless, for twinning programme its either RCSI or UCD for 2.5 years then another 2.5 years is at Penang Medical College which ofcourse at Pulau Pinang la. So, hanya tinggal satu bulan je utk fly, if according to plan. Tapi, actually macam2 lagi tak settle. Certificate of Good Conduct, Borang Sijil Sokon...

Hi... Its the 23rd night of Ramadhan. I should sleep but I'm in the midst of downloading Grey's Anatomy so while I'm at it, thought of dropping a few thoughts here. Watching Grey's Anatomy, I now realised why I didnt get IUMC. Ha ha. Sorry! It is just so hard to let go. (I'm starting to hate myself for posting the interview experience here. Cause when I read, (which is pathetic by the way, I know) I am unfortunately, vividly reminded of that particular day.) So, when I watched Grey's anatomy, I realised (probably not the whole picture) but a gist of how a doctor's life gonna be. I mean, the actual reason for being a doctor. (Ugh whatever.) It was never for self-satisfaction in the first place. In fact, it should never be. Being a doctor is not for yourself to be well-informed of your own physical being. It's not simply wanting to "help people". It's more than that. It takes a hell lot of conscience to be one. I mean, there's no real...

Hi and Assalamualaikum everyone. I know my previous post is incomplete and unfinished. But, I'll update it as soon as I can. Well, actually i dont have anything much to say at this moment just the fact that I would really like to do an update on my very last week here in KMB. literally. Tinggal paper Malay SL and Chemistry HL which I will be sitting this Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning, InsyaAllah. And the fact that dah lama tk pegang laptop due to my vigorous studying hour, so well, i kind of missed typing on y keyboard. Actually nak tidur dah cause its already way past my curfew but nk lepas rindu jap. Okay so, so far mcm tkda harapan. but i'll worry about that later. nk kena study for chem and malay. I really hope Alah answers my prayers.  Adios.  Intan. x

Am I depressed? Stay focus. Thats what I need to do. Hi Assalamualaikum. U know, dont let the things that u cant control consume your whole being. There are things that's just out of your control that while u may think that u have perfectly taken control of it and that it should go according to your plan, but I guess some things just never meant to be that way- it is what it is. Well, as expected, I didnt get iumc. Sadly. But life, must go on. Right? I know how I didnt get it. I mean, it sure is clear as water from my previous post. I don't know why I responded the way I responded, and probably never will. But its just... Im still in the dark of the why.... U know probably now I dont see it YET. But I sure hope I will one day. And as cliche as this might sound, things happen for a reason, right? (More like convincing myself than convincing y'all) The inferiority starts rolling up to me, u know with people who never experienced failure, never ha...

Assalamualaikum, and hi. it's been a while.  well, I never intended to blog sometime around this particular time. I'm in the middle of finishing my economics note on unemployment and inflation. Only a quarter finished by the way. sigh.. But I just couldnt concentrate. I kept on thinking. reminiscing. the Memory kept flooding back. I just couldnt let go.  My IUMC interview went awful. I dont know who I was in that room. why I behaved that dy. why I responded tht way. I was not myself. I even answered something that I made up impromptu. I was not being genuine.  As i think back, it was probably I was in a state of shock. because the interview went differently. it was not the usual pattern whereby it always started "okay so tell me about yourself" or "why medicine". it was absolutely nothing like that. Okay, before you all get delusional and scared, my ONLY advice on IUMC interview is you all have to remain calm and YOU LEAD the conversation. jus...

Assalamualaikum. Hello there, everyone. Just in case some of you are wondering what PMC stands for, it's an abbreviation of Penang Medical College.  Well, I just had an interview yesterday (3/11/2016). And it's one hell of an experience, along the lines of a fruitful and a rotten one. I don't know. So many things to tell to be honest. Ok, so first thing first. The PMC twinning programme is one of the overseas-ish medical programmes offered/sponsored by MARA. it's a twinning programme whereby you get to study in RSCI or UCD in Dublin, Ireland for two and a half years (learrning on theory) and then the remaining two and a half years would be spent in Penang, which would be the clinical part of the medical course. Okay so that's pretty much the basics. It was nerve wrecking indeed. I mean, you're to be interviewed by an Irish man. On top of that, they're Doctors, Professors, and the Dean of that Uni. Just my luck that I got a Professor in M...

Salam, and have a pleasant 5th Raya everyone. :) It has been so long since my last entry and I'm really risking my time with updating this post. Because as usual and being a very typical IB student, I got tons of work to do. Shitload of them in actual fact but I'm still typing anyways so.. Life... Life is just unexpected. One day you get to taste the beauty of it, sweetness of its juices but the next, you hit rock bottom really hard . Damn me if I did not put an emphasise on that. My semester 2 result is quite bad, making me doubt the future of whether or not I would still be able to continue my studies overseas & pursue my dreams of becoming a doctor. Sure I made it through the cut-off points but takat hidung je. And it is seriously not enough to pursue medicine with that kind of result and with this competitive world around me. God, I really screwed up big time .  And if you ever feel like life is unfair, know that - as cliche as this may sound - every clou...

Assalamualaikum semua.. Wow, almost a year has passed and this is my newest blog post. All those days, weeks, and months even, passed without me having the slightest inkling of updating my blog. You know how busy a life can be. (Dreadful!) Trust me..  .......My life so far? Idk, it's a whirlwind. How can I describe or tell or whatever you guys could call it those 36 weeks or 254 days of experience and squash it into one-entry blog post? That's bloody ridicule! All I know is that my life is constantly changing. (a phrase that my English lecturer would always say); a complete conclusion of my life's history for this year. I have been admitted to Kolej Mara Banting, Selangor for a two-year diploma programme, IB (abbreviation for International Baccalaureate) which is one of the many preparatory programmes offered in Malaysia if you were to continue your study overseas. Alhamdulillah, I cant thank God enough for this opportunity. However this is just the first bab...

Salam... Nobody's perfect huh. For some reason, I am definitely one to argue (physically i mean). Let's go with this; not everybody's physically perfect. YES that would be much more acceptable. Tipulah kan you have never met a perfectly flawless people. Bcs in my seventeen years of life, from my peripheral point of view, there ARE flawless human beings. Every angles and curves of their body and facial features are molded and so perfectly carved that I could do absolutely nothing else but stare at them in full admiration. Almighty can do no wrong.  Nevertheless, I, being a perfect queen of imperfections, have flaws which I loathe. But self-destruct is waaayyyyyy out of the equation. I'm too precious to go down that road! I cant change the way I look. That's beyond my limited power! God created each person for a reason to change if not the whole world, but to the world of someone at least. Each individual has their vital role in making a significant involve...

Assalamualaikum.. Hi I just received an award today. It was a MISC Education Excellence Award, the company that my father is currently working for. I could say that the award has brought an impact on me-though not tremendously. Hmm.... I was fascinated by one particular eye-opening speech given by the best student (believe me, she deserves to be the best among the best)(she's not just the cream, but she's also the icing of a cake) I cant remember her name, unfortunately but I do remember that she was from Intej (Integrasi Jempol). You know, now in this particular time I'm writing this entry I have come to the realisation that these past couple of years, those manusia yang Berjaya adalah manusia yang sentiasa taat pada Allah. Comparing myself to them I realised yg I don't resemble them at all. Not even one bit. Ya Allah, jauhnya aku daripada jalan yang diredhaimu. On and On I used to write in my Bahasia Malaysia's karangan about how people marcapada live bertuh...

Hello beauties I just wanna say that Im currently falling in love with classical music. NO-not THAT classic like Beethoven's or Mozart's- well, at least not yet. I might go as far as adding those kind of music to my playlists sooner or later and that is for sure. It's just that after listening to TaySwift's Blank Space cello/piano version, I was totally stunned-felt goosebumps all over you-stunned. As lame as this may sounds, I kind of cried (no don't ask) but not a dramatic kind of cry but just plain tears. I don't even know why.  But honestly, no I don't think it's actually a cry though but ugh screw it I'm useless with words! Nak tahu something yang I dream gila tak? I've always wanted to go to MPO as a first date camtu ah. Ahaha I mean, the idea of going one is kinda romantic right? No? Whatever guys. Cause it definitely IS a turn on for me though. The beautiful sound of an orchestra is soothing. It takes you to a dream...

Hi uolls Okay so actually I have nothing productive to say. Just suddenly mood nak berblogging is switched on. I'm actually at my kampong ni so yeah, tahu jelah kan I have absolutely nothing to do (acah je ni padahal belambak je kerja boleh buat) So Intan actually nak story mory lah kot dengan uolls semua. Life ni kekadang memang seems unfair kan? I mean have u ever had to face rejection upon rejection some parts in your life? Well, I have to endure these things for quite a number of times now. And it sucks- to the moon and back. Know what? I failed the jpj test! Lol it has definitely taken its toll on my emotional rundown OK. In some ways, I feel kind of useless but then again inilah reality kehidupan kan? Life is like a wheel, rod, tyre, circle or whatever that is sememangnya kita akan merasa being at the top or even being squashed-as cliché as it sounds, it is undoubtedly the truth!-the ugly truth. Tak boleh nak lari dah. I don't know lah, maybe its karma or whatever n...