Making the best of what i have.

Am I depressed?




Stay focus.


Thats what I need to do.


Hi Assalamualaikum.

U know, dont let the things that u cant control consume your whole being. There are things that's just out of your control that while u may think that u have perfectly taken control of it and that it should go according to your plan, but I guess some things just never meant to be that way- it is what it is.

Well, as expected, I didnt get iumc. Sadly. But life, must go on. Right?

I know how I didnt get it. I mean, it sure is clear as water from my previous post. I don't know why I responded the way I responded, and probably never will. But its just... Im still in the dark of the why.... U know probably now I dont see it YET. But I sure hope I will one day. And as cliche as this might sound, things happen for a reason, right? (More like convincing myself than convincing y'all)

The inferiority starts rolling up to me, u know with people who never experienced failure, never have to settle for less, but you know what? Why should I bother about other people? Everyone of us has our own story. The degree of difficulty that life hits may differ, so why should I compare. That'll only make me an ungrateful person.

Its hard. To try to look for the positive side of things, when you can only see the negative ones. It is not easy fr me to turn the tables! You know with all the things that had happened to me these past 2 years, it was an emotional, roller coaster ride. The lucky gets the beautiful taste of life while the unlucky / unfortunate ones, well, let it stay at that. And, suffice to say that I'm tasting both. I get the best of both worlds. Ha ha. If i were being a pessimist, its definitely not 'best' but hell, I should rid myself of this negativity. Again, its hard. With me constantly feeling insecure, self-doubting, etc, its a long process.

But you know, now that I'm writing this post (re-editing, tbh) after I finished my IBDP after the depression post-interview and post-interview result, I now realised that maybe, just maybe, that its the best result Allah has given to me. Given the current life situation that I am in. It's a lot to take in but you know, I really hope there is a silver lining on every cloud that has been loyally stuck around with me for quite a long time.

Till then,

Intan,







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