H.A.P.P.Y.






Hello . How are you guys doing ? :)
I hope you guys are at the best state . 

The reason that I am writing this post is just out of random . WAIT. SPOILER ALERT !!! This post may make you feel urmmm menyampah . So if you get annoyed or whatever it is , psshhhh I'm sorry . That ain't my problem . Be happy to close this tab okay ? ;) See ? I've warned ya . 

Well , I have actually come to the point where I truly , dearly hate my self . Yeap that's why I put that image . Because clearly I am NOT happy . I'm too ugly I feel like I wanna cut myself . >.> Everyday , every moment that I had to look at the mirror (like in the bathroom after shower or whatever) and technically I hate everything about me !

They always on and on says that Love yourself blah blah blahhhh Everyone deserves to be beautiful , etc . I was like Hahahahahahahaha wtf . It's because the person who's responsible to say that is a beautiful person so ......

I seriously don't have the will to live anymore .. I mean like what's the point of living when you had to cry every moment and not enjoying yourself and your life is full with hatred ? Come on ! Its easy for the pretty girls out there to live their life . But what about me ? I'm such an outcast so .....


Okay to those who's even reading this piece of shit . WELL DONE if you don't feel anything . But if you're pissed I've told you earlier . If you wanna judge me , well judge lah . The world is already full with judgemental people . So , feel free . But JFYI , I seriously do not need those verdicts for now . Anyhow if you insist . ;-) Tell those to people who cares K ? 


Byee ! xoxo












 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Future ....2....?

 Hi,  Ive returned after a couple of years since my last entry. Having read it, I rasa bersyukur that I wrote everything down. I've matured since then, I think. I can clearly see, the teenaged / early adult side of me for which I have grown to become a full fledged adult with responsibilities now and clearly, much more difficult decision to make And, one thing for sure.. I've lost the ability to write...... T_T Obviously, the tittle somewhat is giving a hint of what Im about to write. Funny.....Four years ago punya contemplation, still the same this time around. Hidup ni, dunia ni, memang satu roda.  Turns out, I did decide to stay in Msia at the time, for at least another year post-fifth year or let's say..after graduation.  What happened since then?  Alhamdulillah, I graduated. Finished medschool without any repeat on exams. Soared through all of them with blessings from allah, doa & support from parents & family, and of course, my friends. Study group...
Read more

Reflections as a third year medic

Hey guys, so um, been a long time. But, uh, this is actually one of my surgery rotations assignments however, as i read, i thought, it would be great if I could pen it down in my blog as well... Just leave a comment (or ask mr google) if there are any terms that u cant understand ok!           One of the many things that I learned was that, a really good grasp of basic knowledge is quintessential for me to be competent. I am still lacking in this which I found very depressing especially when active participation during case discussion with our tutor came in. In order to improve, I really need to consistently do revision, assessment and do verbal discussion with my friends. However, I sometimes find it a bit overwhelming.             Along my rotation, I realised the importance of practice. My tutors and seniors kept repeating this advice time and time again and I find myself agreeing to thi...
Read more

Future...?

 Salam... Been contemplating about this a lot. And I just....i needed an outlet to vent out my feelings... Also, so that in the future, when I read back on this post, I will know and hopefully smile upon reading back what I felt right at this moment and what madness is going through my little mind.  Sekarang ni, saya pelajar medik tahun 5 dah.. 5 weeks in. And, tengah dalam proses untuk samada apply internship di Ireland (fee €200).... atau patutkah saya buat Housemanship (foc- but may suffer a bit) di Malaysia dahulu.. lepas tu baru fikir untuk ke luar semula demi menuntut ilmu dan reap the benefits over there before coming back here again to benefit my nations. Untuk apply for UKFYP (albeit free) dah terlepas application stage 1.. a bit menyesal, sbb tak aware dengan recruitment date tapi tkpelah, that means, it is not meant for me.. My contemplation stems from: - if terus buat internship overseas, I better stay there until dah dapat specialist / at least 10yrs experience be...
Read more